


the city of blinding lights

by DramaticalHearts (kusokawaii)



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Lights, Fix-It, Hot Chocolate, M/M, Reminiscing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 12:42:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17121581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kusokawaii/pseuds/DramaticalHearts
Summary: Ash Lynx had never wondered if Japan celebrated Christmas. To think about that would have been as relevant to his life as thinking about whether water on Mars would taste like licorice or pennies.(Pennies, he decided; they didn’t call it the “Red Planet” for nothing — he’d have to look it up later)But now that he found himself in Japan, in December, he was surprised by the answer.[Ash and Eiji visit Tokyo for Christmas][for the Banana Fish Secret Santa exchange on twitter!]





	the city of blinding lights

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Sarah (@nodameyt)! I’m Lauren (aka @DramaticalHeart), and this is your gift! I wrote an AshEiji fic for you, about them sightseeing in Tokyo during Christmas time together. I wrote this pretty fast and I didn’t have time to get it beta-read, so any and all mistakes are mine.   
> (I'm still not sure if I got their characterizations right... this is my first Banana Fish fic ;; )  
> I hope you’ll enjoy it anyway though!!  
> Happy Holidays~

Ash Lynx had never wondered if Japan celebrated Christmas. To think about that would have been as relevant to his life as thinking about whether water on Mars would taste like licorice or pennies.  
  
(Pennies, he decided; they didn’t call it the “Red Planet” for nothing — he’d have to look it up later)  
  
But now that he found himself in Japan, in December, he was surprised by the answer.  
  
Thousands of tiny twinkling lights filled his vision, draping every tree and shrub in sight. Walking alongside Eiji Okumura down a roped-off path, Ash couldn’t help but feel awed — by the sights and by the effort clearly involved.  
  
The two were in Tokyo at the moment — near Shinjuku Station, to be precise. The country’s capital was a flight away from Eiji’s hometown of Izumo, but they decided to make the trip for the holiday to see the sights — at the strong encouragement of Eiji’s sister.  
  
“You _have_ to go!” she had said, an intensity in her eyes not unlike that which he had seen in Eiji’s own at their most desperate times.  
  
Eiji had rubbed at his neck. “I don’t know… Christmas is a _couple’s_ holiday…” he dithered. Though he was speaking in Japanese, Ash was able to understand him, but he wasn’t offended — they had had The Conversation before they met Eiji’s family together, and decided, for Eiji’s sake, that as far as announcing his sexual orientation went, they would take things slow, and play it by ear. Japan was still a very conservative country, after all, and he had no idea how his family would take the news either. For the time being, to Eiji’s family they were just close friends.  
  
Despite their best efforts at being low-key, however, Eiji’s sister seemed to have picked up on _something_ more between the two — how much, they couldn’t guess, but Eiji admitted that his sister’s intuition was often particularly sharp.  
  
But, luckily, she knew how to keep a secret, and whatever she knew, she seemed to enthusiastically approve of their relationship regardless. “So? Ash is new here!” she had answered, pointing in Ash’s direction, Ash blinking in slight bewilderment. “He should do tourist things, see all the sights! And you should go with him!” She turned her finger toward Eiji. “If anyone asks, just tell them you’re tourists from the States! Easy enough.”  
  
Eiji and Ash had exchanged glances. “Do you want to?” Eiji had asked him, in English.  
  
“Sure,” Ash had shrugged. He couldn’t help but be curious about what Japan did for the holiday, Tokyo especially.  
  
“Yay!” Eiji’s sister had cheered. “You will have a great time, I promise!” she said to Ash in English, then winked.  
  
Ash smiled back. _She definitely knows,_ he had thought to himself; he opted not to tell Eiji of his suspicions.  
  
“Aaah, this is so pretty!” Eiji cooed in Japanese now, gazing at all the lights. Ash had steadily been learning Japanese since he had arrived here some months ago, and thanks to Eiji’s lessons, he could understand and speak most basic words and phrases well enough — though he wasn’t quite fluent yet.  
  
He didn’t have much of a preference anymore for what language Eiji spoke to him in — English was when Eiji wanted to be understood by Ash faster, or when he wanted to say something that Ash alone would understand; Japanese was Eiji’s first impulse, the words he’d say to himself or when he forgot the English word for something — hearing Eiji speak in Japanese felt like hearing Eiji in his purest form, before America had changed him forever, speaking the words he had learned as a child.  
  
“It is,” Ash replied in Japanese.  
  
“Ah, selfie, selfie!!” Eiji exclaimed, remembering himself, reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone. Ash stood behind Eiji as he took a picture of the two with twinkling lights behind them. “Eeeh, that’s so nice,” Eiji said with a smile, looking back at the photo.  
  
“I’ll take one too,” Ash said, reaching for his own phone.  
  
The sun had just recently set, leaving them the rest of the evening to explore and see the nighttime sights of Christmas time in Tokyo. Shinjuku Station was their first stop, and the champagne-pink LED fairy lights strung over every tree and bush were definitely a good first impression. There were people about, but there was little hustle or bustle. Every time he and Eiji went to a city in Japan, he was struck by the sense of _calmness_ he felt there. _Guess that’s what happens when there are no guns,_ he mused to himself. _Eiji was right.  
  
_ Ash certainly suspected that part of the reason for this trip was Eiji’s continued efforts to help Ash learn to calm himself at last, to not always think five steps ahead of the worst-case scenario — to live in the moment, to embrace what was good and think positively, at least sometimes. Ash still struggled with that, despite the change of country, and the habits he had picked up in his efforts to survive in the back alleys of New York were hard to break. But, he was starting to feel like Eiji’s efforts were working, slowly — his nightmares had lessened, especially the nights when he and Eiji shared a bed, and it had been a fair stretch of time since his last panic attack. Ash supposed that there was still a part of him that refused to believe a thing like ‘peace’ was possible for him — and it was Eiji’s mission to convince that part otherwise.  
  
They walked on ahead, reaching a square with fast food restaurants, food trucks and retail stores about, but in the middle of the square was a lit-up… something.  
  
“What’s that up ahead?” Ash asked in English, pointing forward.  
  
Eiji followed his gaze, and his eyebrows raised. “Ah, that’s like uh… a thing for, couples…” Eiji said in English, awkwardly.  
  
Ash shrugged. “Let’s go look,” he said nonchalantly, starting to walk ahead.  
  
“Ah, wait for me!” Eiji said, hurrying behind.  
  
Arriving at the display, Ash looked up at its glass cases, enclosing three mirrored balls lit up by lights that seemed to change color. Eiji walked up then. “Ah, look here,” he said.  
  
Looking down, Ash saw a large panel, helpfully written in both Japanese and English. “What color is your heart?” it offered. “Touch the panel in front of you with your hands or together as a pair!” Below that was a color coded guide.  
  
“Silly, isn’t it?” Eiji smiled.  
  
“Let’s try it out,” Ash said, placing his palm on the panel. A loud, fairy tale-like tune played, as the color of the lights in the glass case changed to yellow. “Huh.”  
  
“Yellow, huh?” Eiji said, then looked down at the panel. “Hmm… ‘Feeling a freedom,’ it says.”  
  
“That’s fitting,” Ash mused. “You try it,” he said, stepping aside.  
  
“All right,” Eiji said, placing his palm on the panel. The sound played again, and the lights turned green.  
  
Ash leaned over to read the panel. “‘Pursuing the ideal for perfection’, it says.”  
  
“Hmmm,” Eiji said, pouting a little. He looked around then, to see if anyone was watching them. He leaned toward Ash. “Let’s try it together, really quick.”  
  
Ash smirked. “Alright, onii-chan~”  
  
Eiji harrumphed, and raised his hand above the panel. Ash lifted his hand to do the same.  
  
“One, two, three!”  
  
They put both their hands on the panel at the same time, and the lights turned pink.  
  
“What’s that one?” Ash asked. Both their eyes went down to the panel at once, and read the words, written in the pink column, ‘Full of love and gentleness’.  
  
They pulled their hands away swiftly. Ash felt his face warming despite telling himself how ridiculous the display was, and saw Eiji’s face pinkening as well.  
  
 _Even the tourist trap knows,_ Ash thought.  
  
“S-selfie?” Eiji offered, and Ash complied, posing with Eiji as he took a picture of the two of them — “Let’s touch it again,” Eiji whispered, and they put their free hands on the panel again, it coincidentally turning pink as Eiji took another photo.  
  
“Alright, ahh…” Eiji said, scrolling through his phone’s messages as he stepped away from the display, Ash following close beside him. Eiji’s sister had given them a short itinerary with directions to the most festive parts of Tokyo this time of year, for a more efficient trip. “We seem to have hit a dead end here, so… on to the next place?”  
  
“Mm, alright. What is it?”  
  
“Roppongi Hills. It has an illumination display and a Christmas market, she said.”  
  
“Okay.”  
  
They made their way over to Roppongi, and decided to visit the Roppongi Hills Artelligent Christmas market first.  
  
“Uwaaa~” Eiji said in awe as soon as they had entered it, his eyes practically sparkling. “Now this is more like it!”  
  
The place practically _screamed_ ‘Christmas’ on first sight, as an instrumental version of ‘Oh Tannenbaum’ played in the background — every piece of Christmas paraphernalia you could think of was on display, from nutcracker soldiers to Christmas trees, to large figurals of Santa Claus and his sleigh led by two reindeer, and a delicate carousel display that appeared to show the wise men and their camels, among others.  
  
Eiji gawked at that display, which moved via a propeller fan at the top and was encased in protective glass. “Wow… these are the, uh, wise men, right?” he offered.  
  
“Yeah,” Ash answered, “the three wise men who received a message from an angel about the birth of Christ. They brought gifts.”  
  
“Ahh, right. I don’t know a lot about Christianity, to be honest…” Eiji said.  
  
“In America even those who aren’t Christian know all about Christianity,” Ash shrugged. “It’s hard to avoid it.”  
  
“Wow…” Eiji said.  
  
Ash gazed about, taking in the European-style decor. “This looks German,” he remarked.  
  
“It is! German Christmas markets are popular here this time of year.”  
  
That was apparent enough — the crowd was dense, with dozens of people milling about around the displays and stands.  
  
They stepped further into the market, finding stands selling handmade ornaments and trinkets, others selling food and drinks. Neither of them were in the mood for German beer, but Ash couldn’t resist a grilled sausage (much to Eiji’s disapproval), and Eiji insisted that they try a pretzel as they admired the handicrafts, then some gingerbread biscuits — both were delicious. They topped it off with two cups of hot cocoa, which tasted better than any Ash had had back in America.  
  
The crowd getting to be a bit too much for them, Ash and Eiji decided to step outside with their hot drinks.  
  
“Ahh…” Eiji sighed, slumping slightly.  
  
Ash looked to him, his brows knit. “Hm? What’s wrong?”  
  
“This just isn’t the same… it’s not like a New York Christmas at all,” Eiji said, shaking his head. “You must be disappointed…”  
  
Ash blinked at him a moment. “I’m not.”  
  
Eiji looked up at him. “You’re not?”  
  
“Nah. To be honest… Christmas was always kind of a weird holiday for me. My mother left when I was small, and since Griff and I lived in a house to ourselves, a _family_ Christmas was awkward at best. Jennifer would come over to help decorate and put up a tree for us, and would get us gifts, whatever she could afford that year; my father never wanted her to stay for long, though. So, it was just me and Griff most of the time. As I got a little older, I knew our Christmases weren’t ‘normal’ — I watched all the TV Christmas specials for kids, I never saw a family like mine in any of them. But, Griff always tried to make it special for me. He’d heat up chocolate milk and call it hot cocoa, read Christmas stories to me, help me write letters to Santa... he’d save up to get me the things he knew I really wanted, and I’d make him little gifts of my own. Those are my best memories of Christmas,” Ash smiled wistfully.  
  
He glanced over at Eiji, who had a sad look in his eyes — no doubt remembering that he had been the one who witnessed the last moments of Ash’s brother’s life.  
  
Ash’s smile faded, and he continued. “After I ran away… Christmas became just another day, except I had to watch other people be happy, and pretend to be happy with whatever Dino deigned to give me. I won’t even bring up the perverts that came around at the holidays.” He sighed. “Christmas ended after I ran away from home.” He stared down into his cocoa, his brows knit as memories he’d rather forget began to rise up from the back of his mind.  
  
Eiji utterly deflated. “I’m sorry… I should have asked whether you liked Christmas or not. I didn’t want to bring back painful memories… and I don’t want to make you feel like you have to _pretend_ to enjoy anything anymore, either. You’re free — you can _actually_ enjoy things now.” Eiji had that pained look in his eyes that he’d get whenever he realized just how much Ash had been through and had been forced to put up with in his young life.  
  
Ash looked up, and shook his head, dispelling his dark thoughts. “It’s fine. I __am enjoying this.”  
  
Eiji perked up. “Really?”  
  
“Mm. I don’t want to be one of those people who’s bitter about Christmas forever. I said yes because I wanted to see it in a different light, celebrated in a different way, a way that wouldn’t remind me of the past. Give me a chance to define it for myself. I like how it’s celebrated here. All the festivity and lights, none of the holier-than-thou bullshit.”  
  
Eiji let out a relieved sigh. “I’m glad to hear that. New York really does go all out — this is much simpler in comparison.”  
  
“Mm.” Ash took another sip of his cocoa. “Getting to see it with you is a plus.”  
  
“Ah-” Eiji said, a blush coming to his cheeks that had little to do with the hot beverage he was drinking. “S-same here,” he said with a small smile.  
  
They finished their cocoa, and as they tossed their cups into the recycling bin, Eiji gave a jolt. “The light show! I almost forgot!” He grabbed Ash’s wrist. “Let’s go!!”  
  
Ash was helpless but to follow as Eiji towed him along. They reached a small path lined with people, which wound around an open field. There were lights strung here and there, Ash could tell, but at the moment they were only twinkling sporadically.  
  
“Ah, good, we made it in time,” Eiji said.  
  
They found an open spot and stood waiting for the show to begin. Ash didn’t know what to expect.  
  
The next moment, the field sprung to life.  
  
A carpet of blue LED lights shimmered, as lines of white lights suspended above the ground faded in and out, giving the illusion of shooting stars. Lamp posts with circular tops flashed on and off, their poles lighting up like rising fireworks. All were timed to wordless music that played in the stillness of the near-silence of the gathered crowd.  
  
Ash’s eyes widened at the display — he looked to his left, and saw more lights as far as his eyes could see. Then he looked down at Eiji, and his heart lifted.  
  
Eiji’s eyes were aglow, and not just from the lights — his face was the picture of childlike wonder, smiling without a hint of restraint.  
  
It made Ash want to let his guard down, too.  
  
“It’s magical,” Eiji whispered reverently.  
  
Ash put his arm around him, gently pulling him close as he looked back out at the field with him. “It is.”  
  
When the light show ended, Ash and Eiji stepped away together, Ash’s arm still around Eiji.  
  
Eiji yawned. “I want to keep going, but I’m so tired…”  
  
Ash checked the time on his phone. “It’s getting late anyway. Let’s go back to the hotel,” he offered.  
  
Eiji looked up at him. “Is that alright?”  
  
“Yeah. Then tomorrow we can just do Tokyo things. I watched this video of one hundred things you can see and do in Tokyo the other day — like arcades. Bet I can kick your butt,” Ash smirked.  
  
“You’re on!” Eiji said, punching a fist into the air sleepily. He sighed. “Let’s get a cab.”  
  
“Hai hai~” Ash replied, towing Eiji along as they slowly walked toward a nearby street.  
  
As they waited by the side of the road for a cab to arrive — if all else failed, Ash would call whatever Japan’s version of Uber was — Eiji spoke up.  
  
“...Maybe someday we can spend Christmas in New York.”  
  
Ash looked over at him, eyebrows raised. “Hm?”  
  
Eiji stiffened, as though belatedly realizing what he had said. “Ah, never mind, I don’t know what I’m saying… That wouldn’t be a good idea at all…”  
  
Ash paused, then looked ahead. “...That would be nice, someday. A New York Christmas really is like nothing else.”  
  
He could feel Eiji ease at that. “Let’s watch some videos of it when we get to the hotel.”  
  
“Okay.”  
  
Luckily a cab came into view right then — Ash flagged it down.  
  
“Ah!” Eiji said as the cab began to pull up. “I almost forgot to tell you — I reserved fried chicken for us to have on Christmas Day!”  
  
“...you what.”  
  
“Americans do that too, right?”  
  
“......”

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you’d like to see the real-life places I referenced in this fic, here are some videos!
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qd-fxALU_5E   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1-YVjtHiXM   
> https://youtu.be/LDQVO66gUKk?t=604


End file.
